When couples begin planning a wedding, one of the first things they search for is trust. They trust glowing five star reviews. They trust a venue’s preferred vendors list. They trust recommendations passed down from other couples. After all, why wouldn’t they? If a vendor is listed or praised, it must mean they’ve been tested and approved.
But here’s the truth most people don’t realize. Not all lists or reviews are created equally. Some vendors pay to appear on preferred lists. Some venues or planners receive commissions when they refer a couple to a certain company. And sometimes, reviews aren’t feedback at all. They are a form of leverage, a way to push for refunds or freebies.
This invisible layer of the industry is what we call the trust economy, and if you’re a couple or a vendor, it affects you more than you might think.
What Couples Need to Know
Imagine walking into a venue tour and being handed a list of recommended photographers, florists, or caterers. It feels like a shortcut, a guarantee that you’re getting tried and true professionals. But pause for a moment and ask: how did these names end up on this list?
Some venues, like all Fêtewell venues, carefully curate their lists, recommending only vendors they have worked with and can confidently vouch for. Others charge vendors for placement, and that fee(rather than quality) is what earns them a spot. Neither approach is inherently wrong, but without transparency, couples are left in the dark.
The same goes for reviews. We’ve all read glowing testimonials, but have you ever wondered why negative reviews can sometimes feel vague or oddly personal? That’s because some reviews are weaponized. A client might threaten to leave a poor review unless a vendor provides additional services for free or bends the rules of a contract.
As a couple, you can protect yourself by asking how vendor lists are created. You should read reviews on multiple platforms, not just one, and look for specifics in feedback. “The food was cold” is more telling than “they ruined my wedding.” You can also ask vendors directly about their policies around referrals and reviews.
What Vendors Need to Know
For vendors, the trust economy can be equally challenging. You may receive offers from venues asking you to pay to join their preferred list. Or you might encounter clients who try to push for refunds by holding reviews hostage.
The key is transparency and consistency. Only recommend vendors you would genuinely hire yourself. Be upfront if your placement is paid, and protect your reputation by documenting everything including contracts, conversations, and clear policies.
When you recommend someone, you are staking your reputation on their work. Protecting trust isn’t just about avoiding risk. It is about building long term credibility.
Why Trust Matters
Trust is the real currency of the wedding industry. Couples rely on it to feel safe investing thousands of dollars into their big day. Vendors rely on it to earn referrals and repeat clients. Without trust, the entire system falls apart.
And yet, it is one of the most fragile elements of the industry. A single misleading review or undisclosed referral can erode confidence, leaving both couples and vendors questioning motives. That’s why we believe it’s time to talk about it openly.
The Bigger Picture
At Fêtewell, we’ve seen firsthand how these dynamics play out. When we launched our venues, we received countless offers from vendors hoping to pay their way onto our lists. We’ve also been threatened with negative reviews for services that weren’t even ours, like food catered by a third party or rental furniture that arrived damaged.
It would be easier to brush it off, but we believe that shining a light on these hidden dynamics actually helps everyone: couples, vendors, and venues alike. Transparency builds stronger relationships. Stronger relationships create smoother events. And smoother events mean more joy for everyone involved.
Want the Full Story?
This blog only scratches the surface. On Episode 4 of The Venue Underground podcast, we dive deep into the trust economy. We share real stories about kickbacks, review hostage situations, and what vendors and couples can do to protect themselves.
Listen now on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, or YouTube and hear the conversation that wedding professionals don’t usually have in public. Because in this industry, trust isn’t just priceless. Sometimes, trust is for sale.